DNR this world is broken!

I gave citizens reasons why in case my heart stops or I'm found passed away then let me go. I don't want to wear mask forever or social distancing can't hug even friends that I know from jump! Politicians take a long time or don't want to help regular people like you and me, can't go on a cruise or have to reserve time at different places just to have fun and have a life! Then on top of that losing two loved ones my late wife of one year of a wonderful marriage and a best friend who I mentored is like a brother to me. Losing our freedoms and country in tbb in e middle of a move  and  some things in life I tried to do either fail or don't work out in my favor or what I try to do for the lord is either always a wait or a no!  And that is way too mouch for me but I don't do siucide because of all the extra pain trying to die even though I have siuicidal thoughts due to my depression anxiety from grieving my losses . And depression from the pendemic so that is why I have a DNR I don't want to be brought back to earth.