am I just here to exist?

Question am I just here to exist? only and not free to enjoy life because of inflation being priced out of living people telling to stay in apartment and can't go out anywhere? THAT'S WHAT I DO NOW!! romantic love is only for those who have money a high paying job a bad boy type ect and if you are only living in a studio apartment poor broke and ugly then die alone? That's what I'm being told by this crazy world I wish my late wife never passed away. Other people can find someone fast after a break up or a death of a loved one but they have a high paying job there looks are there they're the man or the lady type of who they want to have a relationship with not a poor person trying to make it in this crazy world! person like myself I always get hit on by romance scammers and while others find real love and some walk away form dating for awhile and the one who hurt the victim who was cheated on or hurt another way Made it really bad and difficult for people trying to find love or find love again, and haven't given people like myself a chance to maybe find love that was taken from my or others lives. So I might not be your type ladies aka princess of big d county just hear me out again here me out. I was very happly married my late wife passed away I have been totally faithful to only my late wife that's why I've been struggling over her loss, I never cheated never went to bed angry always held her when we slept. I was supposed to enjoy my life with her nope 2016 worst year ever I'm struggling others getting love I'm loved deprived haven't been kissed in years! Don't know what a hug 🤗 is I miss the affection and happiness we shared. I'm 48 close to 50 after a year or two I can't be a father and no my mind not even on adoption this pain and lack and letdowns I'm feeling it hurts I'm in deepest pain. Please don't give up on me.pray for me mental health is so real. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bigdcountry/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bigdcountry/support